We are flooded by love stories this time of year. Sometimes they wash over us with soapy renditions of romance involving heart-shaped boxes of candy or bouquets of flowers. Sometimes they flow in as stories of renewal, hope and togetherness.
The undertow of these tales, however, can be sadness, heartache and loneliness which, in turn, sharpens feelings of loss or boredom.
A study published in Australia a few years back found a significant connection between loneliness and compulsive gambling, suggesting that loneliness plays a primary and important role in all forms of problem gambling behavior. As a counselor, I’ve had people tell me that gambling represented a way to meet new friends, or temporarily escape from feeling isolated.
A posting by gambling treatment helpline concludes that compulsive gamblers often fall into two categories: those who seek excitement and those who seek escape. Those pursuing an adrenaline rush tend to be drawn to games with high stakes and lots of action. They revel in the commotion and camaraderie of the gaming table. Those seeking escape gravitate to mechanical styles of play, numbing their emotional pain by monotonously feeding slot machines or stamping bingo cards.
Researchers in Canada also found that women who were less satisfied with their lives and who felt more alone, especially romantically and socially, faced a greater chance of becoming a compulsive gambler.
Pam’s story puts a face on those scientific studies. Pam started gambling with her mother. “I would go just to hang out with her,” Pam explains. After her mom died, Pam channeled her grief and kept gambling as a way to preserve precious memories. “And then it got worse and worse,” she said. “Unfortunately, it took me hitting rock bottom to have this hit me straight in the face and realize I had a problem.”
Pam’s compulsive gambling led her to misuse funds her employer had entrusted to her. After she was caught, the truth was overwhelming. “That was the first time I admitted to myself that I had a problem. I was a mess.”
She called Maryhaven’s gambling helpline. “It was a relief. They knew what I was going through and they knew what to talk with me about,” she says today. “They helped me overcome a lot of issues I have had.”
Our team at Maryhaven worked with Pam to move through the depression and grief that triggered her gambling. We devised strategies to resolve the family, workplace and financial issues that her gambling caused. And we took into account other medical issues, including a medication she was taking that was also a trigger for her gambling. “It was amazing. I just felt wonderful. Now, I’m back to how I was before,” she now says.
Candy and flowers certainly have their place. But for those of us who work at Maryhaven, the greatest love stories unfold when our patients return to families and loved ones, when they once again can lead happy, healthy and productive lives.
Ask Pam how sweet it is to spend time with her granddaughter.
Write your own love story this year. Maryhaven can help you or a loved one dealing with gambling addiction. Gambling often occurs along with addiction disorders like alcoholism or mental health issues like depression. Let us be your holistic behavioral and addiction health specialists and treat both disorders simultaneously.
Call 614-324-5425 or contact us confidentially online today.
